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Toronto Catholic District School Board

The best way to help your child succeed with the success criteria is to give them feedback on what they are doing well and what they need to improve on in terms of the success criteria. Take a look at an example from a Gr. 5 writing piece below for how to do this.

 

 

We looked at how to edit a writing piece in Mrs. Rego’s Gr. 5 class. First we took writing prompt and showed an example of how to evaluate it using our success criteria. Next we looked at a student sample and edited it together using our success criteria. Finally, descriptive feedback was added on what was done well and what could be done for next time.
 
Question
 
What’s your favourite restaurant?
Pretend you’re a restaurant critic (judge) Write a review of your favourite restaurant.
 
Zen Japanese Restaurant
 
Freshness
Flavour
Quality
Service
Experience
Décor
 
Fish Fresh Fish. IF you want to try some sumptuous Japanese food, you ‘ll want to go to Zen Restaurant and here’s why.  Sushi is a delectable art that requires a skilled chef and Zen has some of the best Sushi chefs around. If you’ve ever had bad sushi, you know that there’s nothing worse than  ????? raw fish.  Zen has the freshest fish around and you can taste the difference. So next time you want a good meal, go to Zen.
 
Nice job No name. I like how you used interesting words like sumptuous. There is also good voice at the beginning. You need to keep paying attention to different words (around has been used twice). Make your ending more interesting as well.
 
  1. Have an opening/ closing that are both interesting  so so
  2. Add interesting voice to my writing              Y  
  3. Make sure I have relevant or meaningful detail   Y 
  4. Use interesting words         N
  5. Organize my ideas (paragraphs, sequencing, etc)  Y 
  6. Revise my ideas by making it better (add, remove, move around, substitute and switch – the ARMS strategy)  Y  N
Proofread my writing so that I don’t have missed words or simple mistakes   
 
 
1.                  My Greek Food
Munch, crunch, mmmm - My favourite restaurant is Mr. Greek because their food is well mixed. When I say mixed I mean when I get chicken alfredo, it looks like every noodle and piece of chicken was covered in cheese sauce. I’d give that splendid selection a 10 out of 10. Also the service was good and they were like they knew us as royalty. I felt welcome when I was there.The price was very reasonable and there were many choices. That’s why I would recommend this for going out on a date, going with family or just to be alone. I hope you go there    I hope you are convinced   If I’ve convinced you and you go there, get ready to  munch, crunch and say MMMMMM
 
 
  1. Have an opening/ closing that are both interesting  so so
  2. Add interesting voice to my writing              Y  
  3. Make sure I have relevant or meaningful detail   Y 
  4. Use interesting words         N
  5. Organize my ideas (paragraphs, sequencing, etc)  Y 
  6. Revise my ideas by making it better (add, remove, move around, substitute and switch – the ARMS strategy)  Y  N
  7. Proofread my writing so that I don’t have missed words or simple mistakes    Y 
 
We did a great job at using the success criteria to edit this wrting piece Gr. 5s. Our opening and closing were both interesting after we edited the piece and there was some interesting words that we added. One area to improve might be a bit more meaningful detail. We could maybe talk about some of the other selections. Reading our work is making me hungry!